Saturday, June 30, 2012

Dear Emaline and Keillor (and Mommy),

I haven't visited any castles yet, but I did see one. I went to the farmers' market today, too. I bought cheese and oats and strawberries and cherries and bread. That sounds like a meal my little Schmookies would like. I also saw two kids your age playing. I did something Mommy would do and I went up to the parents and said, "You can't let your kids come near me because I have two beautiful children at home and I miss them." Maybe that's something Grandmommy would say. But then I said, "Your children are so precious." Maybe Mommy would say that. Then I felt weird.
I met all kinds of people today. You would have been very shy.
I went into a kilt shop to look for matching kilts for Keillor and me. The man said I could get fitted for a kilt and they would ship it to me. They only wanted 250 pounds sterling for it. I said I'd think about it.
I'm still looking for a wee kilt for Keillor. Those are more like 25 pounds. When girls where kilts, they are called skirts. I was told that the difference between kilts and skirts is underpants. If you're wearing underpants, it's a skirt. Maybe I shouldn't get Keillor a kilt.
Tell Mommy that Edinburgh has an H&M and an Anthropologie. There are many fancy stores on Princess Street that Mommy would really like.
Also tell Mommy to look up stuff she wants to do and see. Daddy's eyes are starting to cross, so I am going to sleep, but have a look at some of the pictures Daddy took. Some of them have a dinosaur in them.
I love you all very much. Take care of Mommy.
Love, Daddy

Letters to Daddy, 2

Dear Daddy,

Mommy said you were visiting castles. She showed me pictures. Daddy, that was not a castle. I did not see any princesses. We liked seeing you on Mommy's phone, but Keillor thought you were at the hospital. Are you ok Daddy? Mommy said you were at a hostel and not a hospital. Both sound bad to me Daddy.

This morning, we went to the farmer's market. We bought peaches, tomatoes, and basil. I asked Mommy if she was going to eat leaves. Then we went to Trader Joe's and Mommy bought us some watermelon. Mommy said we were very good and she let us have ice cream after our nap. We were so excited about ice cream that we only slept long enough to let Mommy make turkey meatballs for dinner. I only wanted cheese and fruit for dinner, but Keillor ate meatballs.

Mommy let us make art after swimming like mermaids. Keillor made a truck and I made doo doo. Doo doo. Hahahahaha...ahhhhhhhh. Mommy got mad and said, "no more potty talk." I said, "Mommy, flying doo doo, hahahahahaha." She turned around and her shoulders were shaking. I think she was laughing. But she said she would never laugh at such owl language. She said, " it is foul language." Like I said, Daddy, owl language.

I am being your best girl and Keillor is being your best boy.



Thursday, June 28, 2012

Letters to Daddy, Part 1

Dear Daddy,

Mommy told me to write and tell you about my story I played today. I was a green dinosaur and you were a blue dinosaur. We went to the grocery store and bought hipperpotamuses to eat. Emaline wanted to play green caterpillar too, but I said "no, just Keillor and Daddy dinosaurs." Mommy said Emaline just wanted to join my good idea, but I think she just wanted my blue dinosaur. You are the blue dinosaur Daddy, and she can't have it. I love you Daddy and am excited to see my surprise when you get home. I have to go now. Mommy is looking for the kermote to turn on the tv, but she won't find it because Daddy dinosaur ate it.


Friday, June 15, 2012

Letters to Mommy 6

Dear Mommy,

Daddy said I have been a good boy. He said he is proud of me. Emaline said, “Daddy, are you proud of me?” Daddy said yes, he is. We got to Gee Gee and Ga Ga’s house yesterday after being in Daddy’s car all day. I got to sit on Daddy’s side. We went to Cracker Barrel, and I ate chicken and mac and cheese and carrots. They didn’t make us eat breakfast like the last one. I ate all of my lunch and drank my milk. So did Emaline. These two old people sitting by us came over and the lady said to Daddy that she had never seen two better behaved children in a resternaut before. Daddy said he was just as surprised as she was. She said he had two little angels, and he said he knew it, but I didn’t see any angels or ghosts, just us, so…

After lunch, Daddy took us to the bathroom. When he was going pee pee, he said, “What do you need to do?” We said, “Hands to ourselves.” “That’s right,” said Daddy. I put my hands in my pockets and wiggled them around. “Look, Daddy,” I said, “I have puppets in my pants.” Daddy started laughing while he was going pee pee.
We drove over a big bridge with a lake under it. Emaline asked Daddy if there were alligators and crocodiles in the lake. Daddy said no, that they live in swamps and marshes. Emaline asked if they eat marshmallows. Daddy laughed again, but he wasn’t peeing this time.

We only fighted in the car once when I put my feet on Emaline’s side. Daddy took my blanket away and I put my feet back where they go.
 When we got to Gee Gee and Ga Ga’s, we went swimming in their lake yard. Daddy put our robot arms on. I wasn’t scared, Mommy. I mean, I was scared, but I swimmed in the water. I even jumped off the dock, but only if Daddy was holding my hand. Emaline jumped off a lot of times, and she did it when Daddy was not looking. Daddy said Emaline is going to give him a heart attack one day. I asked Daddy if I could pee in the lake, and he said yes, so I got out of the lake, pulled down my pants and peed into it. Then Emaline pulled off her swim suit and peed in the grass. Daddy asked her what is she doing, but she was already done. Then she ran around the yard nekked and I said she was Nekkedy Sue and I was Nekkedy Pete.

We went for a ride in Gee Gee’s golf cart. Daddy drove us to see the horses and cows. Gee Gee brought apples and carrots for us to feed to the horses. Emaline feeded the horses, but I was scared. Gee Gee said for Emaline to be careful so they don’t bite her fingers. I didn’t want my fingers bitten off, Mommy. No way. Even Daddy was a little scared. He said so.
Then Daddy and Ga Ga took us fishing. I was very excited. I got a Spiderman fishing pole and Emaline got a Barbie one. Daddy even got us worms.
Then Emaline and I figured out what fishing is. Fishing is when Daddy says "don't touch that" and Ga Ga throws your worm into the water on a string. Then you have to sit there while Daddy tells you not to put your fishing pole in the water. I don't like fishing, Mommy. Emaline digged up the worms out of the worm box and she gave some to me to play with. Daddy told Emaline not to eat the worms. Emaline named her worm "Wormy Worm." I don't like worms.
Ga Ga made chicken pie for dinner and it was good. “I like chicken pie, Ga Ga,” I told him. “It’s good.” Emaline only eated her crust.
After dinner we were so sleepy that I told Daddy I was ready to go to bed. Daddy spit his drink out and started choking. “What’s wrong, Daddy?” I asked him. He said we better hurry up and get me in bed before I change my mind.

Daddy tried to put me in a big bed to sleep, but I like my little bed. Daddy said I am too long, but I can curl up. Emaline tried to sleep in a big bed last night, but she fell off the bed. Daddy said not to tell you, Mommy, but I am. Can I have a smoovie?

I went right to sleep, but I could hear Daddy telling Ga Ga that I am usually a pill at bedtime and refuse to go to bed, and that at the beach he had to run ten miles one night to keep from going completely insane. Ga Ga started telling a story about Daddy as a little boy, but I had heard it before so I fell asleep.

Tomorrow we will have another birthday party with cousin Seth. We get presents and cake. I want chocolate. Emaline wants vanilla. Then we get to come home and see you, Mommy. That will be better than cake and the best present ever.


P.S. Daddy found our toothbrush bag. He looked in every bag and in the car three times. He called Grandmommy to see if he left it at the beach with his pillow. Then Gee Gee found it on the counter in the bathroom, right where Daddy put it when we got here. Silly Daddy.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Letters to Mommy 5

Dear Mommy,

Keillor is very scared of ants. I'm not scared of ants, Mommy, but Keillor is. When we walk to the beach, Keillor asks Daddy to carry him. Daddy says he will hold Keillor's hand. Today I told Keillor I would hold his hand so the ants wouldn't get him.

Keillor is also scared of water, Mommy. He doesn't like the beach. He wants to watch super brother and sister on TV with Granddaddy or bury his choo choos in the sand. Daddy and I went out in the ocean and we finded nine sea dollars. Daddy calls them sand dollars but I call them sea dollars. You wiggle your tootsies in the sand to find them. They pee peed on me and my hands were yellow. I asked Daddy, "Aren't they going to poop?" Daddy said they werent going to poop and to wash my hands in the ocean.

Daddy brought Keillor out to find sea dollars, but Keillor screamed. Daddy found one and gave it to Keillor, but he threw it in the water. Daddy also found Herman crabs for Keillor, but he threw them in the water.

Then Laurel Ann showed us how to fish with our hands, and she catched a lot of fish, but we put them back with their families so they wouldn't be sad. I catched a fish and I couldn't find its family, but Daddy said I had to put it back in the water or it would die, but I couldn't find its family, and I wanted it to be with its family so it wouldn't cry.

We also went on a walk and saw a squirrel. I asked Daddy, "Do we have a squirrel at home where Kentucky is?" He said we did. On our walk, we went to where you and Daddy stayed before we were born. Daddy looked at it for a long time and he was pensive like Gary from the Muppets. Poor Gary. He's sad, Mommy. Daddy took our picture at a tree where Grandmommy took his picture when he was little.

We went on an adventure in Daddy's car. We went to the pier and saw people fishing. We went to the turtle store and got turtle stuffed aminals. My is orange and I named her Orange Juice. Keillor's is green and his name is Sea Weed. We tried to find something for you. Daddy found a pair of turtle earrings, but Daddy said they were cheesy and then he said they were made in Canada or something. Granddaddy took us to the golf store, but we didn't find anything for you in there. There was a statue man who didn't talk. Keillor asked Daddy if we could take his shoes. Daddy said no. Keillor asked why. Daddy asked if he wanted someone to take his shoes. Keillor said his shoes wouldn't fit.

At dinner, Granddaddy asked Keillor if the milk was going to make hair grow on our chests. Keillor looked down to check. Will it, Mommy? Then Granddaddy read us two books. We read the Princess and the Pig and Farkle McBride. Keillor wasn't listening during the first book so Daddy put him in his bed. He came back for Farkle McBride and we showed Granddaddy our Farkle faces.

At bed time, Daddy told me to tell Keillor to lie down and go to sleep if he tried to keep me up. I did that, but then Keillor and I had a conversation about poo poo that went like this:

Poo Poo
Poo poo

Daddy did not come up to tell us to go to bed so we went to bed.

We miss you, Mommy. Especially Daddy. He keeps saying, "God, I wish your mother were here." I think that means he loves you.



Sunday, June 10, 2012

Letters to Mommy 4


Can I go to the beach? Daddy said if I don't lie down and go to bed I can't go to the beach. Can I go to the beach?

We went to the beach in the morning today and we saw a big crab. Laurel Ann catched the crab and put it in a bucket. We digged a river for the crab and my boat. Emaline and Daddy made castles and I broke them with my choo choos. Daddy said to stop but I didn't. Emaline said, "Break your own castle, Keillor," so...

Emaline asked Daddy if we could get in the water, but I didn't want to get in the water because I don't like it, Mommy. I told Daddy to pick me up. Emaline runned right into the water. She's not scared of anything. Then I got so scared I had to go potty, so I told Daddy I had to go potty.

On the way back, we had to walk near ant beds. I don't like ants, Mommy. I got really scared, but Daddy wouldn't pick me up. Emaline just ran right through the ants. I didn't want to walk near the ants. Daddy said to walk fast, but I couldn't move. Daddy held my hand, but I was still scared. Daddy said it was OK, but it wasn't OK. The ants were coming after me, Mommy, They wanted to bite my legs. I cried, Mommy, I cried a lot. I even cried when I went potty.

Then I saw a cookie in Daddy's hand. "What is that, Daddy?" I asked. He said it was a cookie. He let me eat it. I don't like ants.

I wanted to go back to the beach. "Are Judie and Rod coming?" I asked Daddy. "Judie and Rod? You mean Grandmommy and Granddaddy?"
"Are they coming?"

Why do some people have two names, Mommy?

After our nap we went to the tide pools to get our swim suits dirty and give Daddy a heart attack. Emaline looked like she pooped, but Daddy said not to talk like that, but she did look like she pooped, so...

At bed time, I didn't want to go to bed, so I kept jumping in my bed. Daddy said if I didnt go to bed, we couldn't go to the beach tomorrow. We are already at the beach, but I didn't say that because Daddy was mad. He said we got to eat dinner and it was his turn. Then he took my blanket and said I couldn't get it back until I laid down and closed my eyes. Emaline said, "Daddy, can Keillor get his blanket back? Please." I think she wanted to go to sleep.

Daddy had a bunch of funny things to say in my voice, but he can't remember and he's tired.

Olive you and miss you.


Letters to Mommy 3

Dear Mommy,

We got to Jackyl Island today. I said I wanted to go to the beach. Daddy said we could. Keillor said he wanted to go to the jungle. Daddy said we could do that, too. He said Jackyl Island has a beach and a jungle.

After riding the in the car for a long time, we got to the beach. Daddy said, "There's the beach." I said, "Can we got to there?" Daddy laughed and said yes. It was raining, so we didn't have to wear suntan lotion. Grandmommy and Granddaddy got us kites to play with and toys for making sand castles. I'm going to make a little beautiful princess castle and Keillor is going to make a great big queen castle.

Daddy took us to the ocean in our clothes and told us not to get wet. We got wet. We got very wet. Keillor and I found little mountains to climb. They are on the beach with little rivers all around them. It was scary and I almost fell in. Then I fell in. Thenn Keillor fell in. Daddy said, "OK, alright....well, OK, let's just....OK." I think he was frusterated.

We came back to Grandmommy's house and got in the shower to get the sand off. Daddy put us in our swimsuits. Daddy said, "Why didn't I do this earlier?"

We went back out to the beach again and brought our tools for making castles. Daddy brought a kite. I asked Daddy if we could get wet and he said, "You were going to anyway." How did he know? We made castles, but Keillor broke mine. Daddy made a crocodile, but Keillor broke it. Daddy dropped his kite and it ran away from him. He ran after it and caught it. "You are fast, Daddy," I said. He said thank you. Daddy was using his manners like a good daddy.
We wanted to play on the beach for longer, but Daddy said it was after our bed time so we had to go home.
We ate paskettios for dinner, and we took a bath. Daddy said the water was yellow, but Grandmommy said it was just the tub. Daddy said, "If you say so."

After we got our jammies on, Keillor found an ant and threw it in the toilet. Daddy said it wasn't an ant. He said it was a cockroach and he hade Keillor wash his hands. He said not to touch any bugs inside the house.
We read a new Thomas story and a new animals story that Grandmommy and Granddaddy got us and then we went to bed. Keillor said he had to go poo poo, and Daddy said he didn't believe him, but Keillor said he really had to go. Keiller went, and Daddy said he guessed Keiller really had to go.

We tried to got to sleep, but Mulligan and Lizzie kept barking and barking. I could hear Daddy getting frusterated. I think he misses you, Mommy. I miss you, too.



Saturday, June 9, 2012

Letters to Mommy 2

Hey, Mommy.
Emaline cut my finger off. Daddy said she didn't, but she did. Yes, you did, Emaline. Shut up. No. No....

OK, I'm back. I had to go to time out. Sorry, Emaline.

It's my turn to tell you what we did yesterday. We went swimming, Mommy, in a big pool, with other kids. Um, Skylie, and, um, Jason, and, ,um, Skylie and Jason, and, um, Michael Connor.

But first we played in the little pool with Grammy and Daddy. Daddy told me not to splash water out of the pool or pour water out of the pool with my blue cup, but I wasn't. No, I wasn't, Emaline.

Then we got dressed and helped Grammy and Mommy, I mean Daddy clean the big big pool. It was very dirty and smelled like poo poo. I didn't say poo poo, Emaline. Stop it. Daddy, Emaline said poo poo. I don't need to calm down. OK, I calm, Daddy. I calm.

Grammy let us get in the pool to help clean it. It was fun, Mommy. We slid in the brown water and Daddy said he shouldn't have taken our swimsuits off. Then we played in the sprinkler. It was a beach ball. We are going to the beach today, Mommy. I want Mommy to be at the beach.

We took a long nap, and when we got up, we played in the big pool with the other kids. It had a little but of water in it, but not brown. We splashed and runned, and Daddy didn't put us in time out. Jason poured water on Emaline's face, and Grammy said not to do that. She said Jason is too rowdy. I want a big pool at my house, Mommy.

After swimming, we watched a robot movie, and it was fun. Then we had dinner time, and I ate all my chicken and carrots and corn and green beans and mashed totatoes, but I did not get ice cream because I had ice cream after lunch time, but Emaline didn't, but Emaline had ice cream later. She had banilla and I had chocolate.

We took a bath in Grammy's bath, and I washed my hair.

At bed time, Daddy read a new story that Grammy gave us about salalanders, and I almost falled asleep, but I didn't. No, I didn't Emaline. Then Daddy read Kissing Hand and we miss you.

We went to sleep and woke up at 5:30. Daddy said everyone else was asleep, but I said they were awake, but Daddy said no.



P.S. Kissing Hand.

Friday, June 8, 2012

Dear Mommy, Keillor hit me. We wanted to play in the same Pack n Play, and he got too rough. But that just happened a minute ago. That's not why I was writing. I wanted to tell you about our trip. Daddy wanted to leave by 8 o'clock (really?), but we dumped out all of our toys and wouldn't put on our shoes and ran off with our toothbrushes. Keillor and I prefer a later departure. We were in the car by 8:30. Did I mention that Daddy didn't make us go potty? He did ask once we were in the car if we needed to go, but what were we supposed to say? Anyway, Daddy said that on the way to Grammy and PawPaw's, we would stop at resternauts to go potty, so right as we got out of town, Keillor said he had to go potty. Daddy was frusterated, but he stopped at a gas station so we could go. What a good Daddy. I asked if I could take good giraffe with me, but he said no. There was a man in the bathroom, so we had to wait. When he came out, he left a smell behind. Keillor said it smelled like poo poo. Daddy said not to say that. Keillor went pee pee, but I had to poop, so I did. Daddy looked frusterated again. We washed our hands, but Daddy wouldn't let us dry them on the black towel. I don't know why. We were back on the road. We had all sorts of fun in the car. We played with our magna doodles for about ten seconds, listened to the Backyardigans, and fell asleep. When we woke up, Daddy said we could go to our favorite resternaut. I said I wanted to eat mac and cheese; Keillor said he wanted chicken. We were so hungry. We went potty first. Daddy told us to keep our hands to ourselves and not to grab the pretty pink ball out of the wall potty. An old man came in and Keillor liked his wallet so he told the old man he liked his wallet, but I don't think he heard Keillor because he just smiled. The nice lady in the apron said that it wasn't dinner time yet, so we couldn't eat chicken and mac and cheese. I said it was lunch time and not dinner. She said all they had was breakfast. I wanted oatmeal. She said they were out of oatmeal. Daddy looked frusterated. Our pancakes were yummy, and Daddy got us yogurt, too. On the way out, we barely touched any toys and we said thank you to Cracker Barrel, even though the biscuits were crusty. Instead of napping in the car, Keillor and I yelled and picked on each other. Keillor had to go to time out three times for saying "shut up." We don't say that, do we, Mommy? I had to go to time out because I was screaming and Daddy told me to stop screaming but I didn't stop screaming. Daddy was frusterated, but I told him it's OK. When we got into the city, there were a lot of cars. Daddy said nobody knows how to drive. I told him, "it's OK, Daddy. We're going to Grammy and PawPaw's and then to the beach." When we got to Grammy and PawPaw's, Daddy was tired. "Are you exhausted, Daddy?" I asked. He said yes. Keillor and I were excited. We ran to Grammy and PawPaw and got great big hugs. I asked if we could have candy. Daddy said maybe later. I know what that means. It means no. We ate all of our dinner and got apple sauce for dessert. When it was time for nigh' night, Keillor put on his tiger jammies. We tried not to sleep, but we were very tired. Daddy turned on the TV, but not to watch cartoons. All that came out was sound machine noise. The next thing I knew, it was 5:30 in the morning. Time to wake up Daddy. We're going to have fun adventures every day. I'll tell you all about them. Love, Emaline. P.S. In the car, Keillor and I played resternaut. He asked me if I wanted to eat pee pee and poo poo. Daddy said we don't talk like that, but I think he was laughing. P.P.S. I miss you.