Monday, May 24, 2010

Phrases I Never Thought I’d Say to Another Human

Poor little thing. You have bumps all over your fanny.

Let’s keep our hands out of our vagina.

Keep your hands out of your doo doo.

Just let me put this vaseline on your bird.
Oh, don’t wipe it in your eyes.

Why won’t you just snuggle with Daddy?

Let’s not eat leaves. No, no.

Stop playing with your penis and drink your milk.


  1. Phrase you never said to your date: My penis is strong!

    You announced this while in your car seat on the way to Jekyll Island one time. YOu even pulled it out to show us. My. my! What a proud day that was for us.

  2. This made me cry from laughing.