We continue to get bills from the birth of our children. We recently received an itemized bill which breaks down the $12900.39 it cost for our daughter to be born and, as best I can figure, the $4469.54 it cost for our son to be born. To be fair, she is bigger.
Among the descriptions are four charges for the newborn nursery, each $458.00. These are for the two hours or so Emaline spent in the nursery in the middle of the night. $458. $458. Did she at least get a continental breakfast and a gift certificate for the spa?
Keillor spent 24 in the newborn nursery under UV lights to lower his bilirubin level. Know how much they charged for that? Wait for it...$458. No, wait. There are also two charges for $26.19 for "Bilirubin Total." Is that a cereal for kids with jaundice? You only have to eat two bowls of Bilirubin Total to equal the amount of UV in 10 bowls of Bilirubin Raisin Bran.
You know who also sent us bills? The doctors at the hospital. That's right. We got billed by the doctors, too. Everyone has to get his.
We have to take Keillor to the pediatrician today for his congestion. It's then off to sell a kidney--mine, not his.